Monday, October 20, 2008


Anniversaries usually mark something that is cause for celebration, others are not.

Today, is the anniversary of my father's death. My mom is here today, taking care of my girls, and she seems to be doing okay. So am I. One thing that I always try to encourage others with, when they lose a loved one, is this - "You will survive this." I remember the feeling I had for months following our daughter's death in 1995. I wasn't sure that I would survive. Yet here I am, 13 years later, and I did. Christ in me was what carried me through those awful months, and He is what carries my mother now as well.

I was summoned for jury duty and had to appear this morning. I was able to provide them with a letter from my doctor about my surgery, which is tomorrow. FYI, that will get your jury duty postponed, but not get you out of it completely. :O( Amazingly, my father lived 66 years and was never summoned. I've lived 38 so far and have been summoned twice. Once you're summoned, you can have your summons postponed, but without a medical or mental disability that prevents you from serving - ever - they will only postpone you, not excuse you. Todd's never been summoned either. Strange...

I am amazed that it has been a year since my daddy died. I still miss him immeasurably, and I know that my mother does a thousand times more than I. So, much has happenend this past year. I've been in 2 major car accidents, and then of course there was my graceful plunge to the bottom of our basement stairs that is the reason for my surgery tomorrow. But, the most amazing thing that has happened since my dad died is the addition of our precious little Sarah Beth. She and Anna light up every morning. Sarah is so sweet.

For those of you following the adoption part of things, she has been with us now for exactly 10 months today. In the past 2 weeks, she has begun what most children experience around 18 months of age - separation anxiety. She will get very vigilant about seeing where I am and what I'm doing whenever my mom arrives. She knows that this means I'm likely leaving to go somewhere and she watches me like a hawk. It is actually a good thing to see, because that means that her attachment is healthy and that she definately sees me as "mommy" and she wants me there with her.

So, today is a bittersweet day, I am thankful for the days I had with my father. I cherish the days I have with my Mom now. I am so thankful for our little addition - Sarah B. I only wish she could have known my father, and he her.

Please pray for my mother today, and for me and my family for my surgery tomorrow.

Awaiting a surgery time for tomorrow,

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