Friday, April 2, 2010

Now THIS is funny...

I don't know who wrote this but it is hilarious:

God vs. Satan

And God populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's.
And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger.

And Satan said to Man "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them".
And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt,
that woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate,
nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.
And woman gained pounds.

And God said "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits and shredded cheese.

And there was ice cream for dessert.
And Woman gained pounds.

And God said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes,
and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil
to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained pounds.

And God said "You are running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato,
a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery...

And Satan created HMOs...


Hope y'all liked it as much as we did!
~Anna/Blondy da gangsta

15 comments:

SweetTart said...

LMHO!!!!! That is hilarious! LOL! ("and man gained pounds."

Blondy da gangsta said...

And we watched Pride & Prejudice while eating pizza, pretzels, and cookies. And we gained pounds. lol Eek! Mr. Darcy is sooooo...*swoon*

SweetTart said...

I KNOW!!!!!!!!! He IS!!!!!!!! And I feel like I gained pounds, even though I probably didn't.

Blondy da gangsta said...

It's on tv tonight, so I get to swoon about him two days in a row!! *happy squeal of joy* *swoon*

Timothy Smith said...

Goobs each and every one of you

Blondy da gangsta said...

Tim: You act A LOT like Mr. Darcy. Oh yeah, that's me, "Blondy da gangsta goob". lol Sly dear.

Timothy Smith said...

Do I? like the fact that I probably am ripped below my shirt? I can't tell

Blondy da gangsta said...

Tim, dear, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that, but if you can't tell, there's probably not anything like that there.

Timothy Smith said...

No you are right

Blondy da gangsta said...

HAHA poor Tim. How about some French?

Votre appel d'offres, vert, légume,
MA

Timothy Smith said...

Permet de ne pas

MarryAnna/Blondy da gangsta said...

Je vais m'arrĂȘter, mais seulement parce que vous voulez. Je l'honneur de vos souhaits.

Timothy Smith said...

Danke

MarryAnna/Blondy da gangsta said...

(German) Sie sind herzlich willkommen. Was nun?

Timothy Smith said...

We talk in english
Meu pouco de couve