It's been a few days since I posted about my return to the land of blogging. Sorry about that, I am trying to ease back into all of this.
I have been super busy and unable to get back to it again until now, but here I am. I see that many of you are checking in regularly. I know you don't post comments, but I watch you on my Cluster Map and I can see you... :) I would love it if you would post a comment and let me know your thoughts or share what is going on in your own life.
The last 5 days have included physicals for both of my kids, corporate work for our plumbing company, homeschooling, dance classes plus dance Christmas parties (one of which was held here at our home Friday night) a second Christmas Parade, and lastly a birthday dinner for a close friend of Anna's. It has been C*R*A*Z*Y around here, as if that's anything out of the ordinary! I'm sure that it is crazy at your house right now too. So, I began to wonder, are we too busy for Christmas?
I AM looking forward to the upcoming break! I'm sure those of you who have children, or work with children are especially looking forward to the break too, just the rest that comes when children do not have a specific schedule they have to keep that starts so early in the morning and ends so late in the day seems to help relax everyone.
Even so, I am struck hard by the reality that there are people in Connecticut who would give anything to have their sweet children here with busy schedules to keep. As a mom who's had to go through the horror of planning a funeral for my first child and living through the burial, I understand what they are going through right now. Even still, I know that I can not fully understand their loss, because my loss was different, not caused by a senseless act but by a congenital heart defect. In the same way, they would not be able to fully understand my loss, having walked through weeks and months of illness, hours with physicians and the never knowing what the outcome would be. Either loss, however, is a life event that forever changes who you are. One of the most painful things for Todd and I during that time was just having to watch others go on with their lives, go through their everyday routines as if nothing had happened, while we felt as though we might not be able to take our very next breathe because the grief was so overwhelming that we thought we would smother under the weight of it. Pray for these families. They will need the strength that ONLY comes from knowing God, and His character, to fully heal and make it through this time of tragic grief.
This Christmas season has been a little strange for me so far. Things seem all out of order. We have the tree up, but the ornaments aren't all on it. My girls were supposed to have decorated it over the weekend, but my eldest didn't feel well, and the little one will NOT be allowed to decorate by herself. There are many reasons for that decision, the least of which is that the top third of the tree would have nothing on it! ;) I have purchased some gifts for my kids but honestly they haven't asked for much, in fact they haven't really asked for anything that I think they're really serious about. Sarah B. says she wants a train... Really?!? A train? What? My mom has one that she sets up around her Christmas tree and it goes around by itself and plays Christmas music. That is what she described...one like Nana's. Uh, NO! THAT, is NOT gonna happen. She's just going to have to enjoy Nana's when she's up at her house.
We only have a very brief 10 days left until we celebrate the most amazing gift ever given - God with us, Immanuel! I pray that we are able to slow down, focus and really pay attention to what this season is all about. Remember, it ISN'T about finding the right gift for a hard to buy for family member, or about getting our children all those things they think they want. It's about the amazing gift of Christ. The most amazing gift has already been given. There's nothing we can give or receive that will ever be better than that!!
Matthew 1:23, " 'Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel.' " which is translated, 'God with us.' "
John 1:14, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."
While we are taking our Christmas break, I've decided to revisit a book that I read and posted a about back in November, 2007. I read this book just a month before we traveled to Guatemala to pick up Sarah Beth and bring her home. She came home just 3 short days before Christmas that year! The book really meant a lot to me the first time that I read it and was a great source of encouragment to me then. I could really use some encouragement right now ... BAD! So, I am going to be re-reading the book Passionate Housewives - Desperate for God. It was one of those books that really changed me in many ways. Right now, I'm feeling the need for some change in my life... some positive change! When I read the book before, I wrote a post entitled "Are You Desperate for God?" You can read that article here.
Abiding in His ever abundant, never-ending grace,
Lori
Showing posts with label loss of a child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss of a child. Show all posts
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Secret of Confinement
Well, tonight we will continue on with our third installment of my excerpts from, and thoughts on, Secrets of the Secret Place - Keys to Igniting Your Personal Time with God by Bob Sorge.
In the trials I have faced throughout my own personal life: the illness and death of our first child, the death of Todd's mother, Anna's health problems and surgery as a baby, the death of all of our living grandparents, twenty years of marriage - and the usual trials that brings, the death of my father, the adoption of a child, my own frustrating health problems and dibilitating accidents, etc... I have come to understand the following statement, perhaps more than some can. Our first statement from this chapter is this, "David said of the Lord, 'He made darkness His secret place' (Psalm 18:11). When the lights of understanding go out and you're plunged into emotional darkness, you are actually being issued an invitation into God's secret place. It's in the darkness where God meets in secret with His chosen ones."
You see our human nature and Satan's influence, cause us to think that when something bad - maybe even horrific - is going on in our lives that we are all alone. We feel like no one else on earth has ever felt THIS, whatever you're "THIS" is, but the scriptures tell us otherwise.
Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
Ecclesiastes 1:9 "That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun.”
Matthew 28:19-20, 'Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
At the time of our daughter's death in 1995, I could see no good thing that could come of that, I was in complete darkness, confused, and afraid. Now, 15 years later I could name dozens of the good things. I've come to embrace my God as He is, as He presents Himself boldly throughout His Word, in complete control of what comes into my life. As much as I wish I had my precious Kathryn Grace back to enjoy all of the things that would be important to her now, at 16, I wouldn't change anything. I have come to such a deeper place with God that I would not ever give up. Some of you have no idea what I'm talking about, maybe even think - "She's a loon!" Others of you understand perfectly.
Back to our book excerpts, "In His kindness, He dries up every other fountain that has nurtured your soul, that He might become your only fountain in the quietness of this cell. It's here you will learn to own the reality of Psalm 87:7, 'All my springs are in You.' Instead of being energized by projects, you will now become energized by a Person. Being with Him and in Him will become your criteria for success." and "David spoke of intimacy of the prison: 'You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.' (Psalm 139:5-6)"
The chapter closes with these words, and I will chose to end my post with them, so that you may be left alone with this thought, and with your God.
"Here's one of the secrets of darkness: He imprisons those He loves in order to awaken them in the secret place to mature bridal affections. Don't despise your chains, for they bind you to the heart of the One you long for. You are the prisoner of the Lord."
Abiding, with complete assurance, in these chains,
Lori
In the trials I have faced throughout my own personal life: the illness and death of our first child, the death of Todd's mother, Anna's health problems and surgery as a baby, the death of all of our living grandparents, twenty years of marriage - and the usual trials that brings, the death of my father, the adoption of a child, my own frustrating health problems and dibilitating accidents, etc... I have come to understand the following statement, perhaps more than some can. Our first statement from this chapter is this, "David said of the Lord, 'He made darkness His secret place' (Psalm 18:11). When the lights of understanding go out and you're plunged into emotional darkness, you are actually being issued an invitation into God's secret place. It's in the darkness where God meets in secret with His chosen ones."
You see our human nature and Satan's influence, cause us to think that when something bad - maybe even horrific - is going on in our lives that we are all alone. We feel like no one else on earth has ever felt THIS, whatever you're "THIS" is, but the scriptures tell us otherwise.
Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
Ecclesiastes 1:9 "That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun.”
Matthew 28:19-20, 'Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
At the time of our daughter's death in 1995, I could see no good thing that could come of that, I was in complete darkness, confused, and afraid. Now, 15 years later I could name dozens of the good things. I've come to embrace my God as He is, as He presents Himself boldly throughout His Word, in complete control of what comes into my life. As much as I wish I had my precious Kathryn Grace back to enjoy all of the things that would be important to her now, at 16, I wouldn't change anything. I have come to such a deeper place with God that I would not ever give up. Some of you have no idea what I'm talking about, maybe even think - "She's a loon!" Others of you understand perfectly.
Back to our book excerpts, "In His kindness, He dries up every other fountain that has nurtured your soul, that He might become your only fountain in the quietness of this cell. It's here you will learn to own the reality of Psalm 87:7, 'All my springs are in You.' Instead of being energized by projects, you will now become energized by a Person. Being with Him and in Him will become your criteria for success." and "David spoke of intimacy of the prison: 'You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.' (Psalm 139:5-6)"
The chapter closes with these words, and I will chose to end my post with them, so that you may be left alone with this thought, and with your God.
"Here's one of the secrets of darkness: He imprisons those He loves in order to awaken them in the secret place to mature bridal affections. Don't despise your chains, for they bind you to the heart of the One you long for. You are the prisoner of the Lord."
Abiding, with complete assurance, in these chains,
Lori
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